The Importance of Aftercare

What Is Aftercare

Sexual Aftercare (which we will just call “aftercare” for the purpose of this blog) is discussed within the kink community and originated to check in with someone after a sexual encounter.

However, aftercare should be for everyone, and it’s an important way to build trust and intimacy in relationships.

Why Is Aftercare Important?

Sex is a particularly vulnerable experience. So, it’s important to honor your partner’s vulnerability through kindness and support.

Sex sometimes has awkward endings.  Sometimes sex leads to more intimate experiences while sometimes after climax each partner goes about their day with no follow-up or check-in and for some sex doesn’t even end in climax. 

If you walk away from sexual experiences feeling confused about next steps, how to improve, or how was your partner’s experience, aftercare is a great tool to help resolve some of those questions or feelings.

You can also learn so much about how to increase pleasure for your partner in the future by checking in with them after sex and asking questions like:

  • How was this for you?
  • What was your favorite part about what we just did?
  • How can I be a better sexual partner for you moving forward?
  • Was this something you would like to do again?
  • And are you ok?

Aftercare Advice

Prioritize Aftercare as Much as You Prioritize Foreplay

Our main piece of aftercare advice is this: treat aftercare like you treat foreplay. Just like making out or cuddling can be important aspects of foreplay for some people to get them excited for sex, aftercare helps people unwind from all the excitement. It’s a necessary part of positive, meaningful sexual connections.

Think of it as a sex sandwich. Foreplay gets you excited and ready to have sex with your partner, a lot of magic happens in the middle (that’s peanut butter and jam), but if there isn’t a proper ending, it’s not as fulfilling. Complete the sex sandwich with aftercare.

Start Off Simple

Aftercare doesn’t need to be anything earth shattering. Start off simple and see what works best for you and your partner.  Its about connection! If aftercare for you is scrolling through Tik Tok together for fifteen minutes after sex, go for it! If it’s something more physical, that’s fine, too. It might be just a simple “how are you”.  

Start off with one simple piece of aftercare after sex for a while and go from there, adding to your routine as you go! You might be surprised what you learn and how responsive your partner may be and if they aren’t, you know you tried.

Different Kinds of Aftercare

There is not a “right” way to practice aftercare. It comes in different forms.


Physical aftercare could look like:

  • Cuddling
  • Massage
  • Rehydrating and getting snacks
  • Taking a nap together
  • Watching a movie
  • If you experience any symptom of an STI after you and your partner have sex (even if it is weeks later), notifying your partner of the symptoms can be a great way to provide aftercare


Emotional aftercare could look like:

  • Words of affirmation for your partner, thanking them for ways they support you
  • Check in with how your partner is feeling, sex can be an emotional experience
  • If your partner has trauma related to sex, ask them if anything that happened during sex triggered them in any way

Aftercare Is for Everyone, and So Is Q Care Plus!

There you have it. Hopefully, we answered your pressing questions about what is aftercare? And, hopefully you got some great aftercare advice.

We encourage you to check out Q Care Plus’s services! We want you and your partner(s) to have a positive sex life while making sure you take advantage of free, virtual access to PrEP.

For more information, visit

At Q Care+, we take Pride very seriously. You might even say that it’s one of the core values of what we do, which is provide PrEP prescriptions to all individuals to stop the spread of HIV.

That’s why we asked people on our team to tell us what Pride means to them. So you know we’re not just being performative; rather, we genuinely care about gender and sexuality issues, and you can trust us to treat you with respect and provide you with the best quality care.

Megan Standhaft

Megan Standhaft

Megan Standhaft (she/they) is a public health communication professional with 7+ years of experience in a variety of public health sectors, including water insecurity, domestic violence prevention, sexual violence prevention, and HIV prevention. They believe that creating relatable, fun, people-centered content about pertinent issues is the only way to continue driving change. Megan is also a public speaker, having the opportunity to speak at The White House Gender and Policy Council, The Jana's Campaign National Conference, the National Domestic Violence Hotline webinar events, and more.

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