How to Sext

How to Sext - Q Care Plus

Since the dawn of the smartphone, possibilities for connection have been endless. This includes the oh-so-intimidating, sometimes-awkward art of sexting. Sexting is a sexual text message. It can be a fun, one-off experience or something you do with a partner of many years to keep things interesting. It can be a way to communicate and explore sexual fantasies you or your partner(s) have.

So, how does one improve at this craft? How do you even start the conversation? Read through for some tips.

Getting Started with Sexting

The easiest way to start is to observe your surroundings. Describe what you’re wearing, what you’re doing, or what you’d like to do later.

If that seems awkward or difficult, listen to audio porn or watch visual porn and try to describe those scenarios to your partner. Especially when you’re starting out, use the tools available to you to practice.

Things to Consider

Your safety and the person you’re texting’s safety are both important. Firstly, never sext anyone before receiving their consent. Not everyone is in a place where it’s safe or comfortable for them to receive virtual dirty talk.

After you’ve gotten consent, just know that the internet is forever. You may want to establish some agreements with the person you’re texting about deleting messages once they are sent, deleting any pictures you send, or at least storing them in a file where they aren’t accessible to others.

You might want to use an encrypted and secure messaging platform as well, like Signal or Whatsapp.

Always double check that you’re texting the right person before hitting send.

One-liners to Get the Sext Started

Here are some of our favorite one-liners to help you heat up the conversation:

Start with a compliment:

  • “I loved when we did (fill in the blank) last night. I would love to try that again sometime … maybe later even?”
  • “You’re so hot, I wish I could kiss you right now.”

Include memories:

  • “I’ve been thinking about you all day. I can’t wait for you to get home.”
  • “Remember that time we did (fill in the blank)? I wish you were here to do that right now.”

Engage your partner(s) in the sexting as much as you can:

  • “Send me a selfie when you can, I want to see those lips I will be kissing later.”
  • “I happen to have a sex toy right next to me right now. Want to tell me what I should do with it?”

When you want to transition to a phone call or FaceTime:

  • “That got me feeling some type of way. Call me when you can so we can continue?”
  • “Want to watch me?”


  • “I can’t wait to see you/do this in person later.”
  • “I’m coming over tomorrow night. I hope you’re ready.”

The options truly are endless, and you should explore whatever turns you on.


Everything comes with practice. You aren’t going to feel good at sexting right away, and that’s ok. The only way to learn is to try. Ask questions, let your partner know you want to improve and see if they have suggestions.

When you practice, take your time. Just like you would have foreplay before jumping into sex, tease your partner through sexting.

Don’t be afraid to mix it up and include

  • Voice notes
  • Gifs
  • Emojis
  • Let the sexting lead to a FaceTime if you feel comfortable

Most importantly, stay true to yourself and don’t push yourself outside of your own boundaries or comfort zone.


Megan Standhaft

Megan Standhaft

Megan Standhaft (she/they) is a public health communication professional with 7+ years of experience in a variety of public health sectors, including water insecurity, domestic violence prevention, sexual violence prevention, and HIV prevention. They believe that creating relatable, fun, people-centered content about pertinent issues is the only way to continue driving change. Megan is also a public speaker, having the opportunity to speak at The White House Gender and Policy Council, The Jana's Campaign National Conference, the National Domestic Violence Hotline webinar events, and more.

Leave a Reply